Life's a Pitch

My mind has slowed down dramatically, although perhaps it’s always been slow. Not sure how I used to be an A+ student when I really struggle to hold a conversation these days. I find myself having full conversations in my mind of what I should have said, or even just a funnier punch line. If first impressions count, I’m doing a terrible job. I do remember being able to give snappy quick replies to people but those days are long gone. Am I out of practice after spending the best of four years holding conversations with toddlers who just laugh when I try to talk politics with them? Oh no, I remember, I never was any good at that. Sadly, I can’t blame the children. I might have a very logical mind and a creative flair, but as I’ve pointed out in a previous post, I could never do stand-up. In fact, I could never rule a country; unless my speeches were all prepared and rehearsed beforehand, I would most likely stutter, never mind answering all those press questions. Actually, perhaps I could rule a country…

Yes, sorry, back. I was busy imagining what I would do if I ruled the world. Probably start telling writers what they should be writing about rather than worry about the state of the economy, health and education.

The reason I worry about how I present myself to others is the fact that I’ve recently had two rather interesting experiences: networking and pitching.

Surely we should all be brilliant at both really. What are they if not selling yourself and an idea? And unless you want to appear to be someone you’re not, then just being yourself should suffice. That’s the problem really; I’m socially awkward.

Generally, I’m not a shy person and feel that I do a good job at approaching someone I’ve not met before and start up a conversation. But that’s where it all goes wrong, the content of the conversation. It’s possibly a fear of that awkward silence and in my attempt not to have those gaps where suddenly the other person remembers they need the toilet or another drink that I start to blurb. I ask stupid questions, make silly remarks or just go off on an unnecessary tangent boring myself, never mind the other person. I should have accepted the gap. The gap is a natural part of any conversation where it allows the other person to gather their thoughts too. Maybe if I allow for the gap to happen, they might get a chance to talk too thus continuing the conversation, but now, I’ve lost them, and I just want to dig a hole and hide. Thankfully, there are always those with whom the conversation flows, the gaps go unnoticed and the night is a success. So here’s a tip to myself, and others: networking is about finding people you can build relationships with, and unless it’s a natural process, it’s not going to happen. So note to self, take a deep breath and let it flow.

When it comes to pitching, I take it like a job interview, and just like the interviews I’ve had, unless I know inside out what I am talking about and in fact am passionate about the job I’m up for, I won’t cut it. I’ve had some really good interviews in the past, some that felt more like conversations between friends, but the pitches I had a few months ago were nothing like that. They were in fact terrifying. It all came down to one thing though, I didn’t have any good answers, I clearly hadn’t done my homework and didn’t know my story or characters as well as I should have. I went in for the experience and came out enlightened. I knew what I had to do to make this programme 10x stronger, and I found out that if I’m going to play this game I need to learn how to pitch. Having an interesting story to tell with strong characters is definitely a good start, but knowing the audience, why it’s different, interesting, and most of all, why it needs to be made will get you a lot further. Knowing who you are pitching to though, will also make a huge difference.

That could have been the worse pitch, but really, it’s when you (and by that I mean me) find yourself in front of a producer and decide you’re going to pitch them a script. You blurt it out and then realise you haven’t thought this through. Now remember how I said at the start that my mind has slowed down and my memory just fails? Well, having not prepared this at all, and in fact not even looked at the script for a few months, I blanked on the ending, the most important part of the script. The whole story built up to this one point and I could not remember a thing, one single detail! Of course, as I sat in the train home that night, I could have pitched it to any stranger. I knew it inside out, but pressure or time limitation makes me draw a blank, the kind of blank that I have when bumping into someone I know well unexpectedly and suddenly don’t remember their name – yes, that’s happened twice.

If like me you’re getting senile a lot earlier than expected, then make sure that you pause. There is no need to rush through conversations and pitches. Take your time. If you know there’s a chance you’ll be pitching to someone, prepare. The blurted out pitch I did? There really was no reason why I should have pitched at all. I could have just had a friendly chat and then approached him again at a later time with a stronger pitch. You rarely get those chances twice so don’t waste them.


Here are a couple of useful links on the do and don't of pitching:

• First Impressions by Jeanne Veillette Bowerman on her column Balls of Steel for Scriptmag.com
• Preparation and Pitching - a list of must-read links on the subject compiled by Lucy V Hay on her blog Bang2write.com

Happy New Year!

It’s been too long since I last posted on this blog and I am fixing that right now.

As much as I’ve been eager to write for the last couple of months, life happened and writing just didn’t fit into the madness.

Thankfully though I’m back. A little late to the game, but January isn’t over yet, so my writing goals for this year start now.

My goals:

• Keep a blog – even if it’s not a script, it keeps my mind thinking, keeps me ticking and most of all, keeps me writing
• Finish a sitcom – I got some very constructive feedback on Dead End Job last year but never got a chance to re-write – that needs to change.
• Film a short – I think it’s finally time to focus on one short and take it to the next level.
• Write a feature – After completing a feature last year during Scriptfrenzy, I am looking forward to doing it all over again, but this time with a little more prep and a better outline
• Plan out a webseries – possibly too ambitious to fit this into the year, but I’ve got an idea that’s been brewing for over a year and need to get at least a draft and a plan down on paper.
• Collaborate – not only would I like others to get involved in some of the above, but I also hope to get involved in other people’s projects. The one thing I have already done this year is read other writers’ scripts. I plan on doing a lot more of this and getting involved in filmmaking.
• Read more – scripts, books, articles, anything. Just keep reading, learning, getting inspired
• Dream on – whilst I still have the power of imagination and am able to with simple thoughts create intricate and fantastical worlds in my mind, anything is possible!

Overall, I aim to have fun and enjoy my family and as long as we’re all still laughing together, everything else can always be, in true writer fashion, procrastinated.

What are your goals and what are you going to do about it? 

LSWF - A Weekend to Remember

It’s been three days since the London Screenwriters’Festival wrapped and I still have a stupid grin on my face.

I was planning on writing a long review of the weekend, but all I really need to say is:

“Wow! That was amazing!” Yes, with all the exclamation marks included, and more!!!

Chris Jones

So thank you to Chris Jones and all members of staff and volunteers that worked incredibly hard; thank you to all the speakers and guests that made time to contribute to the festival; and thank you to all other delegates whether writer, producer, director, agent, other or sympathizer. The knowledge and confidence boost I gained from joining in on the sessions, the workshops, script chat, speedpitching, general yattering and controlled binging is invaluable.

In Conversation with David Reynolds

My highlight – Pitching Dead End Job to David Reynolds and have him brainstorm ideas on how I could develop the sitcom further. He even gave one of the characters 12 children. Most of all, he encouraged me to keep on working on the script and topped it all by adding that he really liked the setting.

My lowlight – Having to sneak out of the Joe Cornish session to make my way home very early due to other commitments. I definitely made up for it on the second and third days.

The main lesson learned this weekend is that you can make your own luck. Work hard, go for it, don’t stop at the first hurdle and just keep writing!

The festival may be over, but this is just the beginning.

LSWF DAY 1 - A Mini Adventure

And so it begins! I'm home from a great 1st day at the London Screenwriters' Festival.

Today has been a short day for me, so I made the most of it. After walking around the building for half an hour, completely lost, I finally found my bearings and the main room where Chris Jones, the festival director, was saying a final word and welcome.

From that point on, there were about four sessions taking place at the same time, a tough choice at times. The first session I headed for was Cut! Cut! Cut! with Ellin Stein. It was an interesting session where we all got a chance to read a few pages of someone else's script and together understand what did or didn't work and why.

An hour later and I was headed to my script surgery session with The Doctor - Paul Gallagher. The Euroscript clinic set up at the festival was fantastic. Paul was really good at helping me view Dead End Job, the latest sitcom Taro and I have been writing together, from a different perspective. Together we talked about what worked, what didn't and all the different options, including a change in character gender. I have much work to do on it now and extra preparation for my speedpitching session on Sunday.

After lunch I had the luck of getting into the very popular session with Edgar Wright. That's right, Edgar Wright! A funny and inspiring man, who's making it happen. Not long after he had his 1st feature A Fistful of Fingers started showing at the Prince Charles cinema, he met Matt Lucas and David Walliams. After watching his movie, they asked him to work with them as director. He ended up directing TV and not long after got involved with Spaced. He started talks with Simon Pegg about Shaun of the Dead in 1999, and it took another 3 years after they wrapped on Spaced to get it made. Meanwhile, Danny Boyle made 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead was going to be re-made, a set-back but thankfully not a deterrent. I could go on and on. But let's just say, I'm a fan! Towards the end of his session Joe Cornish walked in to join the audience, and I caught a glimpse of the man I would be watching next.

Many of you may have heard of Joe Cornish from his appearances on TV and radio with Adam Buxton. Together they did The Adam and Joe Show which was always very funny. During his session, Joe talked mainly about his debut feature Attack the Block. Not being down with the kids, he had to do extensive research into how they spoke, acted, lived and also how they relate to others in different situations. He also talked about different type of monster movies and decided he wanted to do one where they scare you due to volume, rather than looks. It was interesting to hear about all the research that went into the movie before he even wrote it all down. We then got to hear a little about Tintin and his involvement in it as well as working with Stephen Spielberg. Overall Joe came across as a very humble person, which made him even more likeable and admirable.

Sadly I had to leave before the end of that session missing out on the rest of the day and the networking drinks, but that's ok, I'll be back for more tomorrow. For now I'll be carving some pumpkins.

Getting Ready for the LSWF

I am getting ready to attend the London Screenwriters’ Festival and intend to make the most of it. There are many things that can be done in advance of the Festival to make sure you are as prepared as possible.

Here is what I’ve done so far:

Private Network – The minute I purchased my ticket, I got invited to join a private network where I could interact and chat to other festival-goers months before the event. I joined the network, added my details, and most importantly made sure I added friends and got involved in some of the behind the scenes activities. New people join daily and it’s never too late to join. The network will keep on going after the festival, so it’s somewhere to catch up with all those new contacts you made and those you missed!

Speedpitching – I filled in the form and signed up, so hopefully I’ll get a chance to pitch my TV Comedy to three different producers, agents, and commissioners. In anticipation of the event, many people have shared their knowledge and links towards pitching best practice, so there’s no excuse not to be prepared.

Euroscript Clinic – I have signed up and have booked a free session where my script (the same TV Comedy) will be thoroughly analysed by a script doctor. The surgery is a 50minutes one-on-one session with your own script doctor who can either talk to you about an existing project or even just about your writing career – so get booking!

Business Cards – All ordered in good time, just anxiously waiting for the postman to bring them. From what I’ve read numerous times, these are a must, so make sure you have some!

So now what? Yes, practice that pitch over and over and over and some more.

If you haven’t got your ticket yet, they are almost gone, so hurry up! You can click here for a £30 off discount code.

Hope to see you there.

The Unknown Beast - Writing Horror for the First Time

Horror is a genre I’ve never thought of writing before. I’m easily scared and often close my eyes whilst watching a horror movie.

Recently though, the London Screenwriters’ Festival announced a logline competition. The objective was to write a logline for a Horror film in 140 characters on Twitter and the winner would get a ticket to the festival.

A free ticket is always welcome, so I thought I’d give it a go. Each person could enter up to three loglines, and boy did I find it HARD. Most of the ones I thought of either already existed or just sounded funny rather than scary. In the end, I just about managed to come up with two, and much to my surprise, one of them made it to the 25 shortlisted loglines!

This was it: “When a magic lamp is discovered in a small town, all of their deepest wishes are about to come true with deadly consequences”

This was my other entry (a rather gory one): “When a legless man due for surgery discovers his Doctor's secret toy collection, he must escape or become Jack in the Box”

In order to come up with the loglines, I thought of entire stories and characters. So even though all I have for now is a logline, a little voice inside is considering developing it into an outline and treatment and take it from there.

Following on from that, another competition came up. This time it was the chance to write a “Campfire Story”, in other words, a scary tale. I thought I’d give it a go. Even though it’s not a genre I’m used to, it sounded like it could be fun and exciting to write it up. But I was stuck. I came up with many ideas, wrote a couple of outlines, but nothing seemed to be working too well.

I decided to think of the films I’ve seen and what’s generally the story. Many of them seem to have the same ‘idea’ – Victim is stuck somewhere with no escape and is trying to find a way out (a house/ a room/ a forest/ a spaceship…) besides that there is something or someone threatening them within, hindering their escape. Here are some examples:

• The Descent – stuck in a cave, trying to find a way out, to make things worse, something is after them.
• Blair Witch/ Predator – lost in a forest, trying to find a way out, to make things worse, something is after them.
• Alien / Jason X – stuck on a spacecraft, trying to find a way out, to make things worse, something is after them.
• Evil Dead / Panic Room – stuck in a house, trying to find a way out, to make things worse, something is after them.

There are many variations of the above and it’s not true for every horror, but it works for me as a first time horror writer. It seemed like a good place to start.

Next, I had to figure out, who or what is the threat:

• Alien
• Animal
• Mutation
• Supernatural
• Human Being

Again, the above isn’t an exhaustive list and the “monster” could be a combination of some. As you’ve probably realised by now, I am no expert in horror.

Trying to figure out which one to go with, I was asked what scares me the most, and after some thought, I concluded that people do.

The above alone was not enough, I kept thinking of stories that already exist, and then I remembered reading again and again that many ideas are the same, you just need to re-invent them. When I first read this, I started to imagine various fairy tales from different perspectives, and in fact, that’s exactly what’s been done in movies such as Shrek and The Hunter.

I was suddenly on a roll and started to re-imagine several fairy tales and nursery rhymes. I had my story.

It still wasn’t enough though and again I was stuck. I knew the beginning and the end, but how to get from A to B? After writing about three different versions, none of which were quite working, I realised I was forgetting to set my limits. As Linda Aronson (writer of the 21stCentury Screenwriter) suggests, find the restrictions of the assignment.

So I started over. I looked back at what I had and why they didn’t work and started from scratch. I limited my location, number of characters and props. Suddenly it fell into place. With one contained location, rather than several, it all became neater and more focused. I could focus on the characters and the story rather than the action. Not only was the end result a tighter, punchier script, it is now also a low-budget script.

I am not convinced the result is a true horror, or if it’s at all scary, but it is definitely dark and there is something very creepy about the ‘monster’.

London SWF

In a month's time I'll be getting ready to set off to Regent's College to attend the 2nd London Screenwriters' Festival. I have heard nothing but praise by the people who attended last year and can't wait to attend.

The event takes place from the 28th-30th of October, three days packed with over 100 speakers and 70 sessions, not to mention 400 writers and producers.

I am really looking forward to listening to industry experts from all areas, but more than anything, it'll be an amazing opportunity to network with other fellow writers at all different levels. Not to mention that I might get the chance to pitch my comedy to agents and producers at a free Speed Pitching session!

Meanwhile, my writing partner and husband, Taro Russell, will be on baby sitting duty. I think he'll need all of our thoughts to get through the weekend :-)


If you haven't bought your ticket yet, you can sign up here. For £30 off, used discount code: 2385127 in the discount box.